Food Apologies

I was a fairly picky eater growing up. Don't get me wrong - I loved food, and I had no problem eating. Goodness knows I have loved to eat from day one. I just liked very basic food items when I was a child.
For instance, I loved pizza, but there better not be anything more exotic than pepperoni on that pizza. Mainly I just had eating oddities. I liked pancakes without butter or syrup. And don't bother trying to tell me that French toast was delicious, because I wouldn't touch it.
Butter grossed me out. Yeah. Beautiful, glorious butter. I didn't put butter on anything until a couple of years ago. (This does not include using butter to bake with, because I've been a huge proponent of that since I was an infant. That's not really possible, but you know what I mean). All of that to say that in recent years I've discovered that I in fact love many, many of the food items I used to refuse to eat.
So, I'd like to take this time to apologize to some of my now favorite food items that used to be abhorrent to me.

Sweet potatoes:
Sometimes I think to myself "what if I had never started liking sweet potatoes?" But then I get sad at the thought, so I change the subject. When I think back on all of those past Thanksgivings, I get frustrated at myself for grabbing a spoonful of your plain cousin "mashed potatoes" but skipping right over you. I was so young and naive.

Avocadoes:
I'm almost too ashamed to talk to you. I was such a mean girl to you. I've been sufficiently making up for lost time with you, though, because I put you on everything - even when you cost extra. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Almonds and Pecans:
I feel bad for lumping you both together like this, because you are both so very different. That's one of the things I love most about you! Almonds, you've been in my desk drawers and kitchen cabinet so faithfully for the past 4 years. Without you I probably would have died of starvation behind my desk waiting for the noon hour to roll around.
Pecans! Oh, pecans. This is my first fall season to love you, so I'm beside myself with excitement to bake with you.

Eggs:
Perfect, versatile eggs. Please don't hold my ignorance toward your greatness against me. I know you're bigger than that, and you'd never do such a thing, but I felt it necessary to ask. You've been such a huge part of my breakfasts, lunches, and dinners now for a few years that I almost can't remember a time when we weren't close. Thank you for sticking with me (but not on my pans).

 

Planning for Friendsgiving



I tend to get ahead of myself when it comes to planning parties. I create lists for all of the imaginary parties I plan to host. I tear out ideas from magazines about centerpieces and place cards that I think would work well for said imaginary parties. I make mailing lists for all of the people who I'd love to see sitting around a table together. I tell you, there is a lot of planning that goes into these imaginary parties that will most likely never happen.

Most of these dinner gatherings end up just morphing into a regular evening of hanging out. People are invited (but not by fun mailed-out invitations), drinks are made (but not in fancy wine glasses), and food is consumed (but not in a three course meal sort of way). Laughter is always involved, so it's never a bad deal.
But Friendsgiving? Friendsgiving has always been the most elusive dinner gathering for me.

I've tried to plan one the past couple of years, but due to all the normal life things that come up between November and December, it has never come to fruition. Has this happened to anyone else? Am I the only one who has failed multiple times to provide a Friendsgiving?

This year Friendsgiving is planned for this Saturday, and I am pretty much super duper excited about it. I feel like I'm jinxing it by talking about it. Food has been planned and discussed and the prepping has begun. My place is tiny, so it will be a cozy (read: packed) evening, but I'm thoroughly excited.

Yay for food! Yay for holidays! Yay for friends!

Food Blogger Wannabe

Every time I bake something I think to myself, "Em. You should blog about this."

You see, I have this blog, but I don't really ever do anything with it. It kind of saddens me. (I realize that is a silly thing to sadden me, but silly things tend to sadden me no matter how much I wish they didn't. Like, it saddens me when I don't have time to sit and read through the magazines I get. See? Silly.)

Moving on! Like I said, I enjoy baking, and every time I begin the baking process I start out with the intention to blog it. It always seems simple enough at the beginning. Just bake, take pictures of the baking, and then write about it, right?
Well, I'm the worst at it. Maybe it's my lack of patience? Maybe I hate treating people like they're 4? (We all know how to mix in flour. Why are you telling me to move my spoon in circular motions until the flour is mixed in?)

Through these thoughts I've come to the conclusion that I will probably never become the next Joy the Baker. Big surprise, right? It's OK. I have other strengths. You know, like Instagramming on occasion and always having candy on my desk at the office. Maybe I should blog about that?
(Ex: Today I brought dark and milk chocolate Dove pieces to the office. Let me show you how I did it!)

I still like baking, though. So if you ever want to see pictures of food but you don't care about how those pictures were made, then follow me on Instagram (emlance).
In closing, I will leave you with pictures of the pie I made on Sunday. It was apple. It was delicious. I ate it for 4 meals straight; breakfast, lunch, dinner, and breakfast again. Can we all say "fat kid" in unison? On three. One, two, three! Fat kid! I don't even care. It was worth it.

 

(Yes, I totally baked this pie while wearing pajamas)

 

 

Thus concludes the picture and writing portion of this post.

Baking Bad

Baking Bad

Episode One:

Caramel Apple Cake

 

9:25 PM, Saturday, August 24:

Me: This cake is turning out to be a disaster. What's my deal?
My mother: I don't know. I'm sorry.

 

Two hours after that fateful text, I emphatically proclaimed to the air in my kitchen that I would never bake again and that I've been living a lie - parading around as a wannabe baker when I couldn't even frost a simple cake.

Despicable.

If this were an episode of Breaking Bad, I am certain that Gus would have shot me for producing a bad batch. Or, even worse, the Mexican cartel cousins would have been sent to keep me from producing such an atrocity ever again.

I'm sure I would have tried to offer a peace offering, and my last words would have been along of the lines of "WAIT! Would you like a piece of mediocre ca..."

It would have been too late.

I had been given my chance.

I would have been found lying in my kitchen in a pool of blood and cake batter the next morning.



 

That's probably a tad overdramatic. But just a tad.
Lets's go back to the beginning, shall we?
First, the back story:
My parents and I always eat Sunday lunch together. Since Sundays are nutsballs for us, we take that opportunity to indulge our food desires.

My mother always wakes up at 4:00 AM, or some other ungodly hour of the morning, to prep the lunch and make sure everything is set for an easy post-church, oven-to-table set up.
This always includes dessert.
Not a Sunday goes by when that woman does not have a delicious dessert prepared for us.

So, when I began this lovely little blog challenge for myself, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to relieve my mother of one task on her Sunday morning schedule. I happily texted my mother to make sure she approved of this idea. She responded with "That would be great!" and I quickly began the planning.

I've been craving fall lately. My thoughts have been consumed with tights, sweaters, football, and party planning. Granted, party planning is always on my mind, but it definitely is hightened during the fall months.
Because of this, I thought it only fitting that I make the Caramel Apple Cake that is from the same Baked cookbook I used for the Cowboy Cookies.

Oh, goodness. Apples! Caramel! Cake! It's a trifecta of deliciousness.

I made the cake, and it was wonderful. Three 8 inch cake pans came out of the oven and patiently waited to be flipped over and frosted. One of the layers stuck ever so slightly to the bottom of the pan, but I wasn't deterred. This was going to be amazing.
I could feel it.
I had a wedding that night at work, so I packed the cakes away and returned home later to make the frosting and finish the process.

Somewhere between work and my house I lost my mind, because when I came back, everything I did was the worst.
I dropped 3 cups of flour all over the floor.
I almost added baking soda instead of baking powder.
I dropped the trashbag as I was pouring the failed batch of frosting into it, so as if to mock me, the failed frosting ended up on the floor, my legs, the bottom of the trash can.
Basically, the frosting was everywhere except in the trash bag, which was the one place I wanted it to be.

I apparently also became illiterate, because I couldn't follow the most basic of instructions.
Sugar? They must mean powdered sugar.
Cook? They must mean don't cook.
Like I said, I lost my mind.

The next morning, I tossed the pathetic attempt at a cake in a carrying device and headed out the door.
I warned my parents of the how awful it would be. Just imagine the scene from Anne of Green Gables where Anne shouts "Don't eat it, Miss Stacy!" Except I shouted "Drown it in ice cream and make sure a strong pot of coffee is on standby!"

All in all, the actual cake was delicious. It was just that stupid frosting. I'm sorry I did wrong by you, Apple Caramel Cake. It wasn't your fault.

I hope you all haven't lost faith in me. I promise to make it up to you somehow.





December Photo Project

You guys. I'm the worst. I've only posted one picture from the December Photo Project on this blog, and I didn't even label it!
Since I'm guessing it doesn't matter too much, here are the missing photos.

Hey, at least it's only December 5th. Maybe I'll be able to catch up soon?

Day 1: Breakfast with the parents

The rest of the breakfast isn't pictured, but my Dad made pumpkin pecan pancakes (yes, please!), and my mom made scramby eggs. Yeah, I know they're not technically called "scramby" eggs, but I still call them that. Oh, and then there were the pineapple slices with brown-sugared bacon on top of them. It took everything in me to not eat that entire plate.



 

Day 2: Piano and Christmas!

Every year at the beginning of December I say, "Mother. This is the year that we will do a piano duet for fun." You know what happens every year?
We don't do a piano duet.

Lame sauce.

So, I am bound and determined to play one with her this year. Hence the practicing of Christmas tunes.

PS - aren't the covers adorable for the music?
They are my Mom's pieces from when she was in high school.

 

Day 3 (In this post)

Day 4: Late night M&Ms

Sometimes I come home from a 15 hour day and Sally, my dear roommate friend, shouts "I put a bowl of M&Ms on the table!" and then the trumpets ring out, and the lion and the lamb begin to play, and the people rejoice!

OK, none of those things happend, with the exception of me rejoicing.

That definitely did happen.

And I took this picture at 12:45 AM, so technically it should be Day 5, but it was still December 4th to me, so I'm just going to let that slide.

 

 

And that brings us to Day 5, which I have not taken at this point in time. So, I'm technically still behind. Oh, well.

This is the first year I have done the December Photo Project, and it has been so fun to look through everyone's photos to see a small glimpse into their days and the ways they celebrate the season.

 

 



That Seems Fair (Word Play!)

For those of you who follow me on FaceTwitterGram, you may have noticed that I went to the Oklahoma State Fair last month with my dearest Sally friend.

Sally and I hadn't been to the fair in years, so we figured it was time to go back so we could partake in fried food/people watching goodness. And we lucked out that Oklahoma decided to turn to Fall and not be 100+ degrees. Thanks, State!

We created a game at the beginning of the night:
"Things That Could Kill You."
It's a really fun game, and I encourage all of you to try it out at least once. The rules are simple, but the rewards are long lasting.
Basically, you just locate any items that could kill you, then you avoid said items, and then you laugh about them. Easy.

So, without further ado, the finalists of TTCKY at the 2012 Oklahoma State Fair:
Grass hill at a 75 degree angle that was covered with cars (Trust me. It was terrifying)
Rusty barb wire separating the cars from the pedestrians
Random wooden spike in the middle of the grass parking section

Those are just the finalists. That list doesn't even include the obvious TTCKY contenders that appear at the fair each year. (For example, the carnival workers, the portable rides, the probable drug dealers, and for long term TTCKY - fried food. Heart disease is no joke)

Also, let's name all of the wonderful State Fair-ish things from this photo:

1) Beautiful, braided rat tail (11:00. Striped shirt)
2) Uber creepy stare from older man (2:00)
3) NASCAR advertisement (above creepy old man)
4) Tube top (behind/beside rat tail)

PS - Funnel cake. The end.

Highs/Lows

High: The Thunder finished off the Lakers in game 5 of the semi-finals last night.

Western Conference Finals, here we come.

Low: Since the state of Oklahoma has not yet declared the NBA playoffs a state holiday, I'm extremely tired from staying up too late watching the games and the post-game reports.

Worth it?

Yes.

High: Sandal weather is upon us.

Low: I don't have any cute sandals.

High: Matt and Jo drove down from Lincoln last weekend to hang out and be awesome.

Low: They had to go back to Lincoln.

No visit from Jo is complete without a trip to Hideaway Pizza. We also made a stop at Irma's.

It's never let me down.

I usually visit the OKC bombing memorial when people come to visit. If you have not been, I recommend it. They've done a beautiful job.

And now for the photos:

(No, I was not at the Thunder game. Yes, that is a photo I pulled off the internet. Sorry that I'm lame like that)

Time Travel Tuesday - We're So Stilly: Clemily Edition.

These are the Clem sisters.

From left to right, they are Jenny, Sally, and Julie.

They are some of the most wonderful people ever.

(Back story - this picture is kind of my favorite for a couple of reasons. 1) It's hilarious. I mean, duh. 2) Jenny didn't know that Sally and Julie were behind her, and Sally didn't know that Julie was behind her. Surprise! Pretend stabbing everyone!)

We've all spent a great deal of time with each other over the past 9 years, but obviously, some hang-out-sessions have become etched in "Clemily History," and they are referenced often.

One such instance was a Friday evening a few years ago that took place after a long week of school and work for all of us. Somehow the stars aligned, and everything about that evening was perfection.

The month was *September. The year was *2007.

One Friday at 5:00, Sally picked me up.

We drove to Stillwater.

We arrived at Jenny and Julie's house.

We took multiple pictures of us recreating famous monuments (obviously).

Yellow chicken curry was made.

We laughed.

We pretended to be pioneers.

Crème brûlée was made.

Jenny and I army crawled through the living room.

We laughed more.

We went to Third Place (!) and got delicious coffee beverages.

And then we played Skip-Bo.

And I'm pretty sure Julie was confused as to why Jenny and I were insane the entire night.

We also went to pick out a movie, but I don't remember what movie we picked out.

I'm sure it was stupid.

Stupidly awesome, that is.

Now comes the part where you get to enjoy some pictures from that evening.

(One day I will be better at photo collages, but today is not that day)

*Dates may or may not be accurate. As unforgettable as that night was, let's face it - my memory is the worst. All I know is that it took place in Stillwater on a Friday night when we were all still in college, and it was the best.

Meet Scarlett.

Everyone has that one object that they simply cannot live without. Maybe it's a dress. Or maybe it's a book. Perhaps it's a makeup product or that one CD you could listen to over and over again.

Mine is my Kitchenaid mixer.

Her name is Scarlett. And, yes. You are correct. She was named after the Gone With The Wind character.

We've been together for almost 3 years, and I honestly don't know how I survived without her for the majority of my life.

You see, I've had other mixers. There was my mother's hand mixer that I used until I moved out. Then I got my own hand mixer, and I was thrilled. I remember thinking how wonderful it was. I baked my fair share of food with them, but neither one of them can compete with Scarlett.

Whether we're whipping up a quick batch of cookies or preparing a menu to feed a party, she's got it covered with her muscle, prowess, and beauty.

We're a good team, Scarlett and I. Sometimes we hang out in the kitchen for hours just baking and listening to Beyonce.

I'm sure you'll see Scarlett much more in my posts to follow, and I hope you come to love her just as much as I have.

Now if you'll excuse me, Scarlett and I have some baking to do.

In Which I Talk About Cafe Good Stuff

Remember that one time I told you how I visited this girl in DC? Well, I wish I could visit her in DC every single day. In fact, sometimes I really just wish I lived there. I mean, she gets to walk by this beautiful building every single day. It might be about .01% cooler than the car dealerships I pass during my morning commute.

I am by no means an expert of the city, but due to my adventurous spirit (?) and the fact that I have to entertain myself while my hard-working friend is running The Hill during the day, I've had many wonderful experiences in DC.

I know you've all heard about all of the historic areas to visit in DC (The Mall, the museums, the memorials), but has anyone ever told you about Good Stuff Eatery? If they have, you can attest to the fact that your life has been changed for the better. If, however, nobody has told you about this wonderful place (which I will forever refer to as "Cafe Good Stuff"), I'm afraid your life has been left wanting and you don't even know it. And you might need new friends. In case you need convincing of the powers of Cafe Good Stuff, just look at this burger. Yeah, I'd vote for that. But it's not just the burgers, folks. It's also the shakes. Oh, the shakes.

When you do finally make it to Cafe Good Stuff, do not be deterred by the line of people snaking out the door, because there will most certainly be a line. Just use that moment to Facebook and Tweet about how your life is about the be changed. The people will thank you.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is - you need to eat here. If you're currently planning a trip to NY. Stop. Go to DC instead. Going to Seattle? No you're not. You can get coffee in DC after your Cafe Good Stuff order has settled.

Would these faces lie to you?